I've written down my recent experience on paper because I don’t ever want to forget or devalue Gods intentions for my life. I know that there is a thief who would greatly desire to compromise or steal away from my memory and heart what God has been calling myself and all his children to.
     I’m also writing it down because, just perhaps, it may prove to inspire or affirm someone else on their journey to Father God.
     This is not a record of who I am as you see me day by day. Rather is description of a destination, or perhaps I should say a destiny that God is day by day calling me to, along with all his children. Have I arrived? Most definitely, no!
     But this is my statement of faith that I am committed to press on in the journey to know and become who I am as a son of Father God.
     In recent years much attention has been put on determining and experiencing transformation from “I once was – but I now am…” While this is critical for those who follow Jesus Christ to experience deep supernatural transformation that plays out in every aspect of our spirit, soul and body, I’m discovering that it is not enough! God is calling his children to a further transformation from “I now am” to living in an understanding of “… with Gods help, I am becoming…”
     What I'm talking about is a matter of a transformation in our perspectives. The perspective I held of the “I once was” pre-transformed person I was and values, I’ve learned is very different from Gods perspective of the pre-transformed “I once was”. Likewise the “I now am” person I believe myself to be, is in reality, very different from whom God sees me as.
     I discovered that I’ve been caught up in a conflict of realities; my perspective of the reality of who I think I am in God has not been lining up with God’s perspective of the reality of who he has actually transformed me to be.
     How blind I have been to hold to my own extremely limited perspective of “I once was and I now am…”
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Visions of Son-ship:
A view from Father God’s perspective

Sunday, September 27, 2009

     In response to a growing awareness that I had been making little or no progress in my spiritual journey for an extended period of time (that awareness though was, in fact, most definitely a sign of ‘progress’), I set my mind to investigate the cause. I had a few clues to begin with; namely an unsatisfied relationship with my natural father. It’s not that I had a bad relationship. Not at all! In fact many, if not most people would have admired our relationship. Yet something was unsettled. My gut feeling was that somehow this stalemate in the natural relationship was linked to and translated to a stalemate in my spiritual growth.
     I will abstain from going into too many details here as that would be unproductive. But after a brief period of focused prayer over several days (and nights), God began to reveal some things that were a definite possible blockage, a form of bondage, a spiritual loophole in my life that the ‘dark side’ was exploiting.
     This ‘revealed understanding’ began in the early morning hours, about 3:00am, a Sunday morning. I woke up suddenly and very alert. I sensed that God had called me out of my deep sleep and that I needed to give Him my full attention.
     “Get up”, he said. I resisted, the bed was so nice and warm. “Get up,” he urged again. “I won’t keep you up very long.”
     Reluctantly, but with hopeful expectation, I stumbled out of bed and into the dark living room where I wrapped up in a blanket and knelt on the floor, wondering if I was just a victim of an over active imagination. I didn’t have long to wait!
     In a swirl of thoughts I suddenly had a picture of how I was relating to God, or rather, how I was not relating to God. I was shocked at what I saw, seeing for the first time that I was actually having a very wrong and confused relationship with the Trinity.
     I discovered that somehow throughout all of my Christian life, in my mind I have been relating to Jesus Christ and God the Father as a mixed bag of God-ness. There was no real distinction between them.
     I can relate best to Jesus since he is the character in the bible that we can best identify with. There are so many stories about him. He is in a human form. So why not relate to what is most understandable? I immediately rationalized that I was justified in my concept that there is no need to clarify the personalities of the Trinity because Jesus had said “I and the Father are One.” By relating to Jesus, I’m indirectly relating to God and the Holy Spirit.
     Why can’t I just pray to Jesus? He understands! He is gentle and kind! Besides, they are the same, just sort of a swirling mix of Father / Jesus / Spirit, aren’t they?
     As quickly as I had made my argument to God, I distinctly heard the words, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father, but by Me!” John 14:6
     I was shocked! Wait a minute! Could it be that I had missed something so significant for the past 56 years of my life? How many hundreds of times had I quoted this verse? How many hundreds of time had I missed the heart of what Jesus was now trying to tell me?
     “Yes, we are One,” he said. “But we are also very distinct and different as well. Don’t you understand? I came to point you to my Father …and your Father! I came to pave the way so that you can be restored into the Father-Son relationship that was stolen from the Father when Adam sinned.”
     You see, it’s not about Me!” Jesus said. “Yes, I’m a part of it, but the heart of the cross is that you might know God as your Father! And if you do not ever reach that level in your understanding and in your relationship with God, then much of what I purchased with my own blood on the cross is wasted! In fact, you have rejected something from Me that I own – that I purchased at a huge price! I didn't purchase this for myself, but I purchased it for you, so that you could have the most amazing relationship with your Father you could possibly ever know. It is the kind of intimate friendship that you have been longing for with your own natural father, but have never been able to attain.”
     I knelt on the living room floor, shocked at what was being revealed to me. I was now wide awake and fully alert! I clearly saw (in the spirit) Jesus directing my attention away from himself and towards another “Being.” He was so inviting! Intimidating, yes, but radiating with love and kindness. I was drawn to Him.
     Yet, something held me back! It was like a big bungee cord that was strapped to the seat of my pants and forever preventing me from getting a hold of the destiny I knew God has for me. No matter how hard I tried, it seems that just before I could grab on to ‘whatever’ I was suddenly jerked back to the same old starting place.
     It feels like an eternal game of “Chutes and Ladders”! I find myself always landing on that square that sends me back down the slide to the starting point – over and over and over again. Eventually you forget why you’re playing the game. You just play it – and never quitting becomes the objective. How pointless is that?!
     I thought, if I can only identify the source of my bondage, then maybe I can deal with it. But I immediately knew that the truth was, I could never deal with it, even if I understood exactly what the issues were.
     I asked Jesus, “So, what must I do? How can I get to this kind of relationship with my Father?” And He replied, “That’s my job! Just let me do it. …and stop struggling! '...No one comes to the Father, but by Me!'”
     I returned to my bed, shivering more from the encounter then from the sheets that had become cold. I now understood what Jesus was calling me to, but I had no idea of how to get past the invisible barrier that prevented me from getting to Father.
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Monday, September 28, 2009

     With the blessing from the leadership at our home church, my wife and I attended the first of a series of special meetings at a ‘different’ church not too far from our home that evening. The purpose of the meetings were somewhat of an experiment in which we were simply giving the Holy Spirit a totally non-programmed environment to ‘do His thing’ in us, among us, for us! Perhaps 100 people were there. Anticipation was high while no one knew what to expect. A number of our close friends were sitting nearby.
     After brief instructions about the purpose of the meeting and a few practical guidelines, we were lead in a brief worship song. Soft music then continued in the background and everyone was left (without any instructions) to ‘wait on the Lord’. No one knew what might happen – if anything.
After a period of time, I moved over by a wall – to be more comfortable and to ‘wait on the Lord’.           Then, reflecting on the revelation that I had received in the early morning hours the day before, the reality of my broken and bound up condition became painfully clear.
     How could a guy like me have missed God’s purposes for my life to the extent that I had? I realized that I had done well with playing the religious game for a religious audience by their religious rules – both from the traditional church as well as those of the ‘Spirit filled’ church. Indeed, I had a well notched belt of miracles, good works, spiritual gifts, etc. that had seemingly proven that I had a good connection to God. Yet somehow, in spite of all these experiences, understanding and favor, I was coming up very short in what I now was just beginning to understand have been God’s real intentions for me. Son-ship!
     I knew I had to do something to make things right! But what?
     As I knelt there on the floor, I recalled our Men’s Bible study from the previous Saturday, how young Solomon inherited not only the throne, but a number of leftover nagging issues from the reign of his predecessor, his father David. Initially Solomon attempted to ignore or accommodate the problems of Joab (who had murdered two men and brought guilt onto himself and his fathers house; 1 Kings 2:5-6 & 28-35) and Shimei (who had cursed David as he fled before his son, Absalom 1 Kings 2:8-9 & 36-46). But in time, Solomon was forced to confront the issues. In fact, Solomon was not able to deal with the issues by himself, but had to request assistance from Benaiah, who totally destroyed the problems by killing both of these men. Only then, by destroying the ‘problems’, was Solomon able to go from having simply "inherited the kingdom" to being “firmly established in the kingdom”. 1 Kings 2:46
     I knew now that something was being accommodated in my life that had to be destroyed. That is what God was revealing to me. What was it? Where had it come from? Why? How? When? I struggled with these questions as the evening progressed.
     Then in a flash I understood. The issue actually isn’t for me to understand at all, but rather, to simple recognize and acknowledge there is something that’s not right between myself and God. Quit pretending that everything is OK! Just acting like everything is OK doesn’t make it OK!
     Jesus said, “Just acknowledge that things aren’t right and let me do the analysis and work out the remedy. OK? I am the one who understands hearts – in case you don’t realize that. And I am the one who fixes them too.”
     “But we’re not going to do this alone - just you and me,” he said. “If you want to be established in God’s kingdom, you need a ‘Benaiah’ to help you to totally obliterate the bondage's and curses that are holding you back.”
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     The meeting eventually ended but my thoughts continued to be filled with the things God had just spoken to me. I didn’t want to let the words slip away, as so often happen soon after God speaks.
I held those thoughts, or maybe the revelation, I don’t know which, to myself knowing that I was being brought to another one of those proverbial ‘forks in the road’ of life. The direction I would chose at this fork would affect me forever.
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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

     The following day I knew I had to make my move. I had an overwhelming sense of guilt – that I was stealing something from Jesus that he had purchased with his very life. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I knew for sure that I had to somehow deliberately attempt to make things right.
     I fired off a text message to a Pastor / friend and expressed that something did not seem right in my heart and that I might needed some help. Moments later he responded and encouraged me to set up an appointment to meet for counseling / deliverance. I made a call and set up an appointment for the following Tuesday.
     There. It was done. Come what may – something had to change. I was eager for the ‘encounter’ but scared that I might discover something that would be more than I could deal with (or that I would allow to be dealt with).
     The rest of the week seemed to pass by so slowly. I couldn’t wait to confront whatever it was that was holding me back.
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Monday, October 5, 2009

     My wife and I again attended the second in a series of those special gatherings. My heart was ready to explode! I wanted so much to deal with the ‘whatever’ that was holding me back from a right relationship with Father God. I kept thinking about the upcoming counseling session and that “tomorrow, we’ll discover what ‘it’ is and deal with it.”
     I don’t remember much about the meeting itself. It began quietly with music playing in the background and things were pretty much left to play out as the Holy Spirit would have it. People were moving around to different places where they were quietly praying.
     After about 15 minutes of waiting at my chair beside my wife, I decided to move away from the rest of the people sitting around me to a quiet corner of the room. I knelt with my face to the floor, waiting, in prayer and worship.
     Within moments, my mind, or imagination, I can’t say which or how, lit up like a movie screen and I was immediately taken to a place where I was able to see myself in the distance. It was a life altering vision where I literally saw myself in the real spiritual condition that I was really in – from God’s perspective.
     I saw myself on a remote hillside. Trees were all around yet there was a lot of open space too. There were gullies washed out down the hillside. Bare rocks protruded and large, thick patches of tangled briers with little red berries filled in those washed out areas.
     In the center of this scene I saw myself hopelessly tangled in the middle of one of those dense brier patches. I was very dirty, having been there for a very long time. I was completely naked and covered with scratches. Drops of blood on the tips of the thorns were almost indiscernible from the little red berries.
     Then sudden I moved from being an observer to being the one in the briers. I felt the hopelessness, the entrapment. I felt the pain of the thorns that were imbedded in my skin. It was a vaguely familiar feeling …from somewhere in my past.
     In the distance I was aware that there were others, in other brier patches, which were also hopelessly entangled just like me.
     Every struggle I made to get free only brought great pain. So I dare not move. I realized that I had been there in that condition for a very long time.
     Then in the distance I heard a Voice. It was calling out my name. It reminded me of the verse, Genesis 3:9, when God called out to Adam, “Where are you.” But this Voice was not calling out with the voice of those preachers who I recalled hearing them read that scripture in a religious accusing voice, read with the intent to cause guilt.
     This was the voice of one who was truly in great distress! Like the voice of a father whose little child has been hopelessly lost in the forest. There was desperation and panic in the voice as he cried out my name!
     “Where are you,” the Voice called. I could hear that he was weeping as he called out - like the sound of a father weeping for his lost child. It tore my heart! I wanted to call out in response, but I didn’t. How could I? I was so tangled up. What a mess I was in. I felt so hopeless that I had no strength in my voice to call out with. I was embarrassed with the realization that I had allowed myself to end up in such a helpless condition.
     I continued to hear the Voice calling. I continued to hear him weeping. I continued to feel distressed at the understanding of my pathetic situation and condition.
     The person I had thought I was, I now knew clearly, had been only an illusion. I was now seeing myself from God’s perspective. Yes, I was his child, purchased with the blood of his Son, Jesus. But I was a ‘lost child’. In some respects similar to the ‘prodigal’ son described by Jesus. I wanted to get home, but I didn’t know how to escape the dilemma I found myself in.
     There was a desperate longing to …get to Father! Desperate! So hopeless!
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     As I knelt face down on the floor, oblivious to anything else going an around me, I realized that I was weeping. I hadn’t cried like that since I was a child. The very scripture that I had used to judge so many other people now screams out in my mind. It was a perfect picture of who I was ...from Gods perspective. "You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked." Revelation 3:17
     I realized it now!
     The vision continued...

     I looked up and there were two men breaking through the briers. One was wearing white clothing, almost shining. He was beautiful! He had snowy white hair and translucent blue eyes and he carried a shining sword which he was using like a machete to cut down a path though the thick briers.
     The other man was a stark contrast to the first! He looked battered and tired. He wore a ragged and greatly bloodstained robe as if he were just returning from some great battle.
     As the two men made there way toward me, I recognized who they were. They were Jesus and the Holy Spirit!
     I trembled as they approached.
      Who was I that they should go to such great difficulty to reach me? I felt very embarrassed - until I looked into Jesus face and saw overwhelming love and compassion! Sincerity! No pretense! He really cared!
     The Two said nothing. After the path was cleared Jesus simply touched my arm and nudged me to step forward with him.
     But I refused!
     How could I go to Father in this condition? I was naked. I was so embarrassed!
     Shame! Suffocating shame!
     Shame held me back from going forward with Jesus to the Father! Shame kept me from entering into the Father – Son relationship that Jesus had purchased for me on the cross! Was this the source of my bondage, that bungee cord, the endless game of ‘Chutes and Ladders’??
     How could I let Him gaze on me in such a wretched, dirty, broken condition? And it was more then just the fact that I was naked. I was - transparent! I could tell that Jesus and the Holy Spirit could see right through my skin and into my mind and heart!
     I was painfully and shamefully aware of overwhelming unworthiness! I knew that their intention was to bring me to Father God as though I was an actual child of God. But I could only see myself as an impostor - even though I knew that I had been purchased by the blood of Jesus on the cross so many years earlier.
     I resisted Jesus. I hung my head in shame and refused to move! Part of me wanted to go with them to the Father, the other part of me was just too ashamed to move.
     Then the unbelievable happened! Jesus took of his bloodstained robe and wrapped me up in it! I felt the warmth of his body on the robe as he covered me. I pulled the robe tightly around me. I was covered! Hidden! My shameful condition resolved!
     Now - no more excuses remained to resist letting Jesus lead me to Father.
     The tears, both in the vision and literally, were running down my face as we walked out of the tangled briers and climbed the hill together, the Holy Spirit on one side on me and Jesus on the other.
In the distance I was aware of a beautiful building – no details. The Father was there waiting for us. As we approached Him I turned to look at Jesus.
     “No! This can't be”! To my utter disbelief and horror I realized that now He was the one who was completely naked! I saw the bloody wounds that covered his body. How could I have been so selfish to not have realized or considered what my shame was costing him? I wanted to run!
     Embarrassed, I realized that now Jesus was the one who, voluntarily, was taking on himself my shamefulness! I frantically tried to pull off his bloodstained robe to cover him. He didn’t deserve this humiliation on my behalf! I felt such indebtedness! I begged Jesus to put back on his robe.
     He refused.
     With a simple reassuring smile Jesus held the robe tightly in place over me.
     He covered me in the presence of my Father! He covered my sin! He covered my shame!
     He understood me - completely!
     Such astonishing love!
     I approached my Father as I have never been able to do before!
     Ever!
     Then the vision was transferred into reality as the Pastor, who had apparently been standing nearby and observing me for some time, knelt down beside me and embraced me. It was as if God had actually had transported himself out of the vision and into reality to demonstrate the reunion between Father and Son that was to be the next act in the vision. It was powerful. More powerful then the vision itself!
     God let me experience the feeling of the love of the Father towards me! Not in theory! Not a doctrine! This was more real than anything I’ve experience before – a spiritual reality in the physical. A transforming reality! I now know God’s Father love with my heart whereas formerly I only knew God’s love with my mind – by faith.
     Such a contrast between knowing with the mind and knowing with the heart! There is nothing like this! Nothing!
     I was vaguely aware that the Pastor was praying something over me about God’s love for me. What he actually prayed, I really don’t have a clue. But the timing of the demonstration of God’s heart through that Pastor was profound! The embrace was not from any human, but from my Father God!
     I know without a doubt that I have only begun to experience what the Father heart of God is like. I want to know Him more!
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Tuesday, October 6, 2009

     I was shivering and trying my best to maintain a calm demeanor as I waited for the Pastor in his office. The apprehension of confrontation had clouded my mind of the sweetness of Gods embrace I had basked in just 10 hours earlier the night before. I was treading on totally uncharted territory as I deliberately determined to surrender every pretense of the person I think I am for the person God says I am. I had no inkling as to how this was going to happen or even if it would.
     I learned something very powerful that day. Instead of spending time in counsel, I was lead by the Pastor to meet the Great Counselor, the Holy Spirit!
     I’ll have to spare you the details – especially since I can’t remember many of them. But what I do remember is this; as in the vision the previous evening, the Holy Spirit began to highlight events that had transpired in my life that resulted in an inability to relate to a father figure.
     I had already understood that there was a block that prevented me from experiencing the father / son relationship. But how surprised I was when the Holy Sprit pinpointed the cause! It certainly wasn’t what I had expected.
     Actually, I had been struggling for the better part of my life to understand the how’s and why’s of the empty feeling I had when it came to my relationship with my natural father. I thought I had it pretty well figured out – who to blame and why. But now I know, for sure, that the reasons I thought I knew for the unsatisfied relationship were, in reality, totally wrong and in fact, only led to increase the distance and emptiness of my relationship with my father.
     The same misplaced blame that was tearing at my relationship with my father was also, in a spiritual way, feeding into the misunderstanding of who I am as a child of Father God. This can only lead to a never ending cycle of frustration and emptiness. And that can only lead to ‘hypocrisy’, a pretense of both a spiritual and natural relationship that doesn’t really exist – weather you actually realize it or not.
     Long story short; as I was being counseled by the Holy Spirit, the Pastor encouraged me to ask the Holy Spirit to clearly define the area that was blocking me from the Father. Nothing made sense to me! I couldn’t put a finger on it. All the reasons that I had thought were the cause had been eliminated.
     But I asked the Holy Spirit again to show me where the block was and gradually a thought began to formulate. I found myself speaking it out as the picture formed. I said, “I don’t think this is possible, I don’s see how it can be, but the thing that seems to be coming to me ...is there such a thing as ‘Self Rejection’?”
     I had never heard of such a thing and could not imagine that such a thing was possible. But before those words were barely out of my mouth, the Pastor began laughing! “Those were the exact words that I was just going to say”, he said. “Wow! That was the Holy Spirit! He told you that, I didn’t.”
     Now, in retrospect, it is perfectly clear! The stage had been set for this from when I was a child. It had nothing to do with the successes or failure of my mother or father. Rather, it was simply a series of events that resulted in a ‘cause and effect’ situation. I had become so accustomed to the ‘effects’ in my life that I couldn’t see them any longer. I had simply accommodated them.
     With that revealed understanding, it was time for ‘Benaiah’ to rise up and kill the source and effects of the brokenness and bondage that I had become so familiar with. Like the Joab and Shemei that Solomon had undeservedly inherited, I had inherited this ‘thing’ undeservedly too, had to be killed – NOW!
     As the Pastor prayed for deliverance and healing from ‘self rejection’, I once again saw the Holy Spirit, not as a Counselor, but as a warrior. This time he raised his shining sword, not to chop down briers, but to cut down the lies and the liar that had lead me to the pain and shame of the brier patch of ‘self rejection’ and separation from my Father.
     It was real! It continues to be real day after day! I was a Child of God – in bondage, being held at a distance from my Father. Now I am a Child of God – free, in his loving arms. Not as in some religious doctrine, but in a reality that is - unquestionable!
     “How great is the love that the Father has lavished on to us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it does not know him.
Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears (or when it is made known), we shall be like him as he is. Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure.” 1 John 3:1-3
     "…when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, that we might receive full rights of sons.  Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out Abba, Father. So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.”  Galatians 4:4-7
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Monday, October 12, 2009

Once again my wife and I attended those special meeting. Once again, as I slipped off to a quiet area and began worshipping and waiting on the Lord, I was drawn into a vision. It picked up at the exact place where it had ended one week earlier – in an embrace with Father God.
     In the vision I was still covered in the bloody robe Jesus had place over me. But now that I knew the incredible love of Father God, I did not hesitate to strip off the robe and hand it back to Jesus when a new robe was brought out for me to wear.
     There was no shame in standing naked before God this time as He placed this incredibly beautiful robe, mostly light turquoise color with many gems woven into intricate patterns throughout. (I did not get a clear picture of the designs on the robe). God also placed a matching cap, something like a Taqiyah (which is a rounded cap worn by Middle-Eastern men) on my head. He stepped back and looked me over, then gave me a big grin and a fresh hug!
     “I’ve got something else for you,” he said. “Hold out your hand.” With that he produced a ring which he placed on my finger. “You are my son. What is mine is yours!” he said. “When you speak, with the authority of this ring and what it represents, your voice becomes my voice.”
     I was shocked – again! No way! How could he ever place so much authority and trust in me? I felt so much love and reverence for him! I was shaking with the magnitude of what was being implicated! The undeserved honor! The undeserved authority! The underserved love!
     So this is what grace is all about! This was a much broader revelation of what Jesus had purchased on the cross with his blood – for me! And I now knew that there was even much more yet to be discovered and received. What else has Jesus purchased for me at such a great price that I am still totally ignorant of. What kind love is this?
     In the vision I could feel the ring on my finger. It was a symbol of distinction! Wearing it marked me as a son of God! I could feel the transformation taking place in my heart and mind. I’m not a son entrapped in the bondage of ‘self rejection’. I am a son of the Most High God! This is not a religious fantasy! It is a fact! It is the greatest reality of my life!
     As the revelation slow sank into my spirit, Father God spoke these few words of instruction; “Take the ring that I gave you when you were on the island off the coast of China – and wear it.”
I knew exactly what he was referring to!
     The meeting came to an end and I was left to ponder over what I had seen and experienced in the vision that evening. When we arrived home Daisy got the ‘special’ ring for me and I put it on my right hand pinky finger. It was too small for any of the other fingers, yet actually too large for that finger.
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     To this day as I write this out, there has never been the slightest question in my mind that these visions are from God.
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     I must interject the story about the ring here so that you will understand the significance of what God had invited me to do by wearing it:
     It happened around 1995. Our family had been living in Hong Kong for about 11 years. Daisy and I found that it was good from time to time to get away from the expectations of the ministry God had bless us with and just spend time as a family. And so, that summer we had taken a short holiday on nearby Cheung Chau Island where there was a get getaway cottage we could rent – especially designed for missionaries who need time away.
     The island is relatively small. You could walk around it in one day. Not too far from the cottage we were staying at was a small cave. It was situated not far from the edge of the shore. The cave was famed for being one of the loot hideouts of the Chinese pirate, Cheung Po-Tsai.
     On this particular day, I had gotten up a bit early to have a quite time in Gods word. In the course of my reading I came across a group of verse, Isaiah 45:1-7, that really jumped out at me. One really stood out in particular… verse 3;
     “I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.” Isaiah 45:3
     That verse stuck in my spirit. It was an encouragement to keep on trusting the Lord in every matter concerning the financial strategy we were using to maintain our lives on the mission field. I filed that verse away in my mind for later reflection.
     Our plan for that particular day was to hike out to see the pirate cave. I knew that it really wasn’t much to see; just a small tunnel that only slim bodied people could squeeze through.
     The children were enthusiastic about the adventure. Even I was a bit excited though I didn’t relish the intense summer heat and ocean flavored humidity that would quickly suck up my energy on the required hike. But duty of the father called and away we trekked for our pirate adventure.
     I remember that the cave was identified only by a small sign and two old Chinese ladies who were renting flashlights and charging a small admission fee. Having made the effort to get myself there, I decided that we would spend the money and crawl through the hole.
     It really wasn’t much to see, though had I been the pirate Cheung Po-Tsai, I would have found the cave to be the perfect hiding place. It was fun to speculate on the possibilities and imagine that just perhaps, there might still be a treasure tucked away under one of those rocks in the cave. At the same time I recalled the verse I had read that morning and had to …just wonder.
     After goofing around at the cave and trying to squeeze out all the value of the rented flashlights, our family began our trek back to the cottage. Having hiked only a short distance though, we diverted off the trail to investigate a nearby beach.
     It seemed that no one ever came to this beach. It was small and covered with debris, trash that had washed up and scattered among several fallen and rotting palm trees. We would not attempt to swim there, but stopped to simply savor the thrill of being in such a remote place.
     While Daisy, Lee and Jonnie stayed on one end of the small beach to explore, Ellie, who was 9 or 10 years old, and I tried for better pickings at the other end of the beach. Soon bored and realizing that there was no pirate treasure to be found, the two of us sat in the sand and stared out at the endless ocean and sky before us.
     “Ellie, I want to tell you something,” I finally broke our silence. “Do you know how we live here in Hong Kong as a family to serve the Lord as missionaries? You know that we don’t do things like most other missionaries do to have money for living?” Then I went on to explain how God had clearly instructed that Daisy and I were not to send out fund raising letters for support. Nor were we even allowed to hint about our support by requesting ‘prayer for financial needs’.
     I explained how God had audibly called me to “go to Hong Kong now” and that he had shown Daisy and me that He would cover our financial needs; that since He had called us – he would take care of us.
     Then I said to Ellie, “If you are ever called by God to serve Him, you don’t have to worry about the money that it will cost. He knows exactly how much it will cost! He even knows when Christmas time comes and that you will need to buy gifts for your children! Just like He said in the gospels – you really don’t have to worry about money. Rather, your concern needs to be about your love for Him and your obedience to what he has called you to do.
     Then I told Ellie, “Usually missionaries have the idea that all of their finances will come to them through other church people. They will use the method of sending out letters to tell what they are doing and then try to get people to sponsor them. But, guess what?” I said. “God knows where all the treasures on earth are hidden! Just imagine that there are huge piles of pirates’ treasure that are hidden around. And God knows exactly where they are buried at and can dig them up whenever he wants in order to help you serve him.
     “So Ellie, you don’t need to worry about the money. Just obey when God calls you.” As I finished my little speech to Ellie, I told her about the special Bible verse I had read that morning to prove that God sees the buried treasures of the earth.
     Then the miracle happened!
     I began to quote the verse from Isaiah 45:3…“I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.”
     As I quoted the verse I was casually running my hand through the sand. Midway through the verse, as I scoped up another bit of sand in my hand, I felt something. It wasn’t a shell like I felt in the sand most of the other times. This time I felt something different. Yet still focused on quoting the verse I just sifted the sand away from the object without actually looking to see what I held in my hand.
     Imagine my surprise as I finished quoting the verse and looked into my hand to discover that there lay a silver ring! Without even searching, a treasure had landed in my hand! How amazing is God! How true are his words! Only God could have pulled this one off!
     Ellie and I stared in disbelief at the silver ring that lay in my hand. Around the ring were a string of very old style Chinese characters – the same character repeated over and over.
Later Daisy translated the word. It means, “Eternal Life!” Can you believe it!
     Even as I write this story out I can hardly believe something so random and timely could ever happen! Only by Gods hand did that ring ever appear in my hand.
     That ring came to us as a gift from God! It came as a lesson from God. It came as a token of God’s love and affection for us. It came to seal a word from God to me – that our sometimes rather stressful lifestyle of faith for our ‘daily manna’ is indeed the life He has called us to live. Not a life of hinting and manipulating in order to get Gods people to support ‘our’ ministry, but rather a life of simple trust and obedience. A life at rest in his love, kindness, and trust that He really does see how much or little money is in our check book and how many outstanding bills remain to be paid along with every due date and amount on them. He sees it all!
     For the last 14 years that ring has been a treasure in our family. From time to time Daisy wears it. Up until now though, I have never worn it. (I don’t particularly like to see a guy wearing jewelry).
But now, I must change my attitude. God has instructed me to wear the ring! This is not about wearing jewelry though. It’s about something much bigger. Something I still didn’t understand.
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     Over the following week I wore with honor and reverence the ring that God had given me years ago while sitting on a remote island beach in the South China Sea with Ellie.
The ring really was too tight for my right hand ring finger, so I wore it loosely on my right hand pinky. As it was easy to slip off, I was very concerned that I would loose it. I thought about it continually because I was so concerned about it slipping off and disappearing. But the week went by and I didn’t have any problem.
     I began to relax about the ring.
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Wednesday; October 14, 2009

     I woke up around 3:00am. I was wide awake immediately and knew that God wanted to tell me something. I didn’t want to get out of bed but God persisted that I go out to the living room. “It won’t take long,” he said.
     I rolled out of bed and stood in the middle of the living room. It was cold and I was shivering. “Kneel”, he said, and I did.
     “Do you understand the significance of the ring I am giving you?” he asked. At first I thought he was referring to the silvering ring I was wearing. “No, not that one”, he said, “But the one I gave you in the vision”.
     “What do you mean”, I asked. It was ONLY a vision. Then suddenly it began to replay in my mind or spirit, I don’t know which. I clearly saw the Father removing the bloodied robe that Jesus had covered me with. He went to Jesus and covered him with it with great tenderness and compassion. I could see that there was such respect for Jesus in God’s eyes. There eyes communicated so much love.
     Then the scene was replayed of God placing the beautiful jewel studded blue robe on me and I saw Him again put the ring on my finger. I felt so unworthy to be so lavishly dressed as Jesus looked on in his bloodied robe. Jesus just nodded with great satisfaction and I understood immediately that to continue feeling unworthy would only devalue what he had invested in me at such great price.
     I looked at the ring in amazement and suddenly felt that I was living out the scene of Jacob’s reunion with Joseph, Jacob’s son whom he had thought was long lost and dead. Like Joseph, I was and had always been a son destined to a relationship and an inheritance that can only belong to a son.      Like the story of Joseph I was now being reunited to my Father. The ring on my finger was the proof of my Sonship! It signified that I was the rightful heir to everything the Father had for me to inherit!
     What struck me was that Jesus was so unselfish! He could have claimed everything in the inheritance for himself, but instead he sought me out, rescued me in order to heal the pain that his Father had been living with due to the loss of me, his child. For Jesus, it would have been reasonable to leave me trapped in the briars, carry on with his life and running away with the inheritance. But not only did he search me out and bring me home to Father, He obviously was so satisfied to see me gain the same rights and honor that he has.
     The ring was the key to immense authority, along with every and all rights as a Son. I now understood that Jesus mission on earth 2000 years ago was to demonstrate to me personally, how I, as a Son of Father God, am entitled to live. Such freedom, power, authority, love, purpose…the list goes on and on… I have as a Son of Father God!
     Jesus wants me to know who I am! He wants me to know my true value! I had always put all my focus on trying to know who God was, never understanding that the real issue is about knowing who I am as I really am in God through Jesus. I have missed so much!
     The ring was the seal of the promises of Sonship and the host of other promises that are the rightful inheritance of Sons and Daughters of Father God.
     “The ring in the vision is, in reality, a real ring”, God said. “I have given it to you. Wear it with pride and in reverence of the Name of Jesus who has given everything so that you can be here to receive it. Understand how much we love you and need you in our family”.
     “As much as you worry about loosing the physical ring that you wear on your finger, be that much concerned about loosing the awareness, the comprehension, the knowledge of who you are as my Son and the authority, responsibilities, and relationship you now have entered into. Hold tight to this!”
      I was shaken by the vision. Was this ‘just a vision’ or was this a real message from God and a real encounter with the Trinity? Was this a new form of reality that I was experiencing that was just as real via a vision as the physical realm that has dictated and governed my understanding of reality …up to now?
     I had to acknowledge that what I was experiencing in the visions was reality. In fact, this is a reality that the scriptures already confirm. I just hadn’t been able to grasp the truth of those scriptures because the reality I had known up to this point in my life does not accommodate ‘Spiritual’ realities of this nature. Yet I find that now those scriptures that I once only received by faith and with little understanding, now carry huge importance and are, in fact, the heart of …everything!
     I crawled back into bed and was soon asleep, waking up a bit bewildered and doubtful of what I was experiencing.
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Thursday, October 15, 2009

      It was a very cold day; damp and windy. Jonnie had a soccer game that evening at local High School. I dressed as warmly I thought was necessary for the conditions, but after just a short time into the game I realized that I was under dressed.
     Daisy suggested that I get a blanket from the back of our car which was parked in a muddy field. So I slopped my way to the car and retrieved the blanket along with a pair of gloves which I immediately put on.
     Bundled up, we endured the game. It ended with a victory for Jonnies team.
     As soon as the game ended Jonnie came rushing over to us, shivering uncontrollably. He had played in shorts and only a T-shirt while most of the players worn ‘body amour’. Since I was heading off to the Church for their Thursday evening worship, I passed my coat and cloves to Jonnie who gratefully submerged himself into the oversized, preheated clothing.
     I was feeling pretty good about how I had covered Jonnie with my coat. It was something I had recently experienced myself…
     But that good feeling was to be suddenly destroyed! Halfway to the church I was struck with my worst fear! I looked down at my hand in disbelief! The ring was gone! “O God, NO!”
I almost wrecked the car; the distress of this discovery was so great.
     Not that the ring was of any great value - at least I don’t think it is. I actually have no idea if it even is an antique. More then likely it is just some cheap jewelry some kid lost while chasing sea gulls on the beach. It was not about the value of the ring itself that was so distressful; it is what the ring represented.
     It represented God’s love for me! It represented God’s faithfulness to his word! It represented Gods affirmation of how we have chosen to live our lives by faith. And most recently, it represents who I am in God as his Son.
     When I looked at the ring during the day, I remembered that I am Gods Son. I’ve been given amazing authority, honor, status, privileges, and an inheritance that is beyond my wildest dreams. When I looked at the ring, it affirmed that what is happening in my life through the recent visions and revelations is indeed from God!
     My first impulse was to turn the car around and rush back to the soccer field. But by now it was very dark, the soccer field would be deserted, and the parking area would be a sea of trample mud. How in the world could I ever hope to find the ring?
     I made a quick call to Daisy to tell her what happened and to find out if just perhaps she might have found it before she left the soccer field. But my doubts were confirmed by her shared shock at our loss. So rather then dwell further on my failures, I felt the best thing to do would be to go and worship God as I had previously intended.
     My mind continued to search for the ring though as I drove to the church. When did it slip off my finger? When I went to get the blanket? Was it lying under the bleachers? Was it permanently sealed in the mud under the wheels of a dozen vehicles?
     I will rent a metal detector and perhaps with that I could bring the ring back. Or perhaps…
How was I ever going to worship God in this state of mind? I wanted the ring back! I really wanted that ring back! Now!
     During the worship service I wrestled on and on. Nearly in tears I begged Gods forgiveness for my unfaithfulness with this great treasure that he had entrusted me with.
     Then suddenly His Presence came.
     “Why are you so concerned about that little ring?” he asked. “Don’t you understand? I knew all along you were going to lose that ring. In fact, that has been the plan all along! I knew you couldn’t keep it on your finger, as loose as it was.”
     “Now I want to teach you what this lesson is all about. That little silver ring is actually nothing. You can’t imagine how many rings I have! But what I want you to understand is that I gave you another ring too. It is the ring I gave you in the vision. It is just as real as the little silver ring you lost.”
     “Do you see how distressed you are about losing that little ring?”
     “I want you to understand that you need to be so much more concerned about losing the other ring, the ring I put on your finger in the vision; the ring of Son-ship; your authority, my favor and love for you! That is the real ring! That little silver ring is just a reminder of the real ring I gave you.”
“Treasure that ring! Yes, be concerned about losing it, because like your silver ring, the ring I gave you can also be lost. As distressed as you feel right now about that little silver ring is just a fraction of how much I want you to value the ring I have given you. Hold it tightly! Don’t let it get away from you!”
     I felt Gods peace flow over and through me. He was right! That little silver ring only made me feel proud, if I was really honest. It was a token of personal significance and a temptation for self exultation. I don’t want that in my life. I don’t need that ring in order to be significant! I just need to believe what God has said about me. That should be enough!
     I basked in God’s presence the way Jonnie had basked in my warm coat and gloves.
While I knew in my heart that what God had taught me was the truth, during the drive home I was filled with the temptation to head over to that soccer field, even though it was totally dark. Perhaps, just perhaps God would be willing to let me find the ring. I argued within myself all the way home, finally siding with my heart and resolving to just ‘let it be’.
     I felt embarrassed to face Daisy once I got home. I had lost our family treasure in less then one week! Daisy had faithfully cared for it for the past 14 years without incident. I knew she would be very disappointed with me – and rightly so. “God, I’m such a failure!” the accusation had echoed through my mind the whole way home.
     I had failed to even consider that the One who had placed the ring in my hand the first time, could do it again.
     And He did!
     The moment I stepped into the house I saw it! Lying on the kitchen counter was the ring!
The ‘forever lost ring that I would never ever see again’!
     “WHAT?” “HOW?” “NO WAY!” The words formed in my mouth but I was too stunned to utter them!
     A miracle and nothing less had just taken place! The unexpected! The impossible! God had once again stepped into my life - suddenly and powerfully. How can it be explained?
     It can’t!
     Daisy, who had heard my arrival home called to me out of the bedroom, “Hey, there’s something on the counter that I think you might be looking for.” That’s the understatement of the year I thought as I picked up the ring to examine it.
     “How did it end up here?” I asked, still in disbelief. “You gave your gloves to Jonnie after the game,” Daisy said as she came out of the bedroom, “but his fingers were so cold that he couldn’t feel anything for awhile. Then after his fingers began to warm up, he began to feel something in the glove. For a long time he didn’t think anything about it, but finally pulled the glove off to see what it was …and there was the ring!”
     Wow! There has got to be more to this story then what I’m seeing at the moment. Just as God put the ring into my hand on that sandy beach off the coast of China years ago, now my son is also experiencing that same ring miraculously appearing - in his hand. What all is God saying in this, I wondered.
     I continue to ponder this rather strange saga of the ring and probably will continue to do so in the years to come. I suppose that there are many things that God will show me as time goes by about it. But I know for sure that there has been enough shown me for the time being to keep me busy ‘digesting’ the lessons for a long time to come.
     I thank you, God my Father! How amazing you are! How you do things! You have such a clever way of teaching me! Painfully driving your love and truth into the tightest corners of my heart! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
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Monday, October 19, 2009

     Daisy and I spent the evening at the church again. Once again I went off to a quiet corner to simply pray, worship and wait on the Lord. Very soon, the ‘movie’ began again. It began with me standing in the Fathers presence, wearing that beautiful robe and ring.
     “I’d like to introduce you to some of my staff”, God said. I had to chuckle at the idea – and began to try to write the vision off as just imagination.
     One by one different people or should I just call them ‘Beings’ appeared. For the most part, they were rather abstract in appearance. Yet, by their attire and demeanor, I understood immediately what their positions were.
     I was first introduced to the Accountant!
     “This is the accountant”, God said, “and I want him to meet you so that whenever you have any financial needs He will know who you are. The ring (meaning the spiritual ring) you wear will be all the authorization you need to make deposits and withdrawals. Just show it to him and he will take care of whatever you need. Don’t hesitate to approach him”.
     I remember that I peeked into the Accountants office. It looked exactly how I would expect an accountant’s office to look. Piles of papers and books! But there was a simplicity and order to everything and it was clear that he was the only one working in that department. He had no need for any assistants.
     I was taken back as I began to realize what kind of authority I have as a Son of Father God. I felt so unworthy!
     From there God introduced me to the Chef! As with the Accountant, Father God said to me that at any time that I am hungry, just “pop in” and the chef will take good care of me.
     Then God introduced me to the Physician! I was beginning to understand. Whenever I am in need of healing, I have the right to come into his office, without an appointment! The Physician has unlimited knowledge of every kind of physical ailment and has at his finger tips the remedy. I don’t have to understand my problem, that’s his job. My inherited right is that I can go to this doctor whenever and for whatever reason something doesn’t feel right. His job is to make things right!
     God introduced me to the Counselor. He was like a psychiatrist, understanding how the human mind and emotions work. But more then that, he understood how people come into spiritual bondage, addictions, and all sorts of complex emotional conditions. He understands every cause and effect of the human psyche, weather problems stem from twisted thinking, generational curses, demonic influences or possession, emotional abuses or environmental chaos etc. There is no problem he is incapable of dealing with and resolving!
     God continued to introduce me to various staff. There was the Lawyer, a Gardener, a Maintenance man, several Advisers, a Taylor (who had made my robe), and a number of others that I can’t even remember now. I felt profoundly honored to have such professionalism at my simple beck and call!
     I had been kneeling on the floor as the vision played out for perhaps 30 minutes. Eventually the vision faded away and I just stayed there on my knees meditating on what I had seen and what had been implicated.
     Somehow I had to get a grasp on this. I knew without question that what I had seen in all the visions up to now was that this was a spiritual reality that God, in an amazing gesture of kindness, was letting me glimpse. This was not just for the sake of having an amazing experience, but He was giving me instructions and a commission to live in the reality of the vision – right now, as His Son on earth representing a Loving Father God - in a similar way that Jesus had demonstrated Gods love by rescuing me from my hopelessness and covering my shame at his own great expense.
     I went back to my chair to continue in meditation. After I had been there for a few minutes a young friend who hangs out with ‘the gang’ laid his hand on my shoulder and began praying.
     While I don’t know what he actually prayed, I recall simply feeling Gods presence. I drank it in as though it was God’s hand on my shoulder. After awhile when he had stopped praying I felt that I wanted to pray for him in like manner.
     As I laid my hand on his shoulder and began praying quietly, I was immediately taken back into the vision. In the vision God said, “I want to introduce you to my General!” Again, I couldn’t see clearly what he looked like, but I sensed a great deal of power and authority in his presence – as if there is nothing that can stand against him.
     As I continued to pray for this young man I began to feel a deep heaviness. I think I was beginning to feel some of what he feels, living in a home that is spiritually divided with an Amish father who probably doesn’t understand the things of the Spirit and the calling on his sons’ heart.
     Tears began running down my face as the weight on my friends heart seems to transfer into my own heart, something that I don’t think has happened to me before. At the same time the vision continued and so I ask God, “May I ask the General to consider the battle that is taking place in my friends home and just ‘deal’ with it” for him? Father God just looked at me and then at the ring on my finger with a little grin.
     I understood and looked at the General, gave a nod (an understood command) and he was off! Immediately, though no words had been audibly prayed, my friend began to shake and cry!
     “O God”, I thought! “What is going on here? There is more reality to this then I am even beginning to comprehend!”
     The vision continued as I quietly just left my hand on my friends shoulder. In the vision I saw all of the staff that I had been introduced to in the earlier vision come and surround both Father God and myself. Then in a strange sort of blur, they all began to blend and merge into the Father! The blending together continued until only He and I stood there (Jesus and the Holy Spirit were still standing nearby).
     Though there were no words spoken, but I understood that this was what it was like to become ‘One’ with the Father. I was reminded that Jesus had prayed (John 17:20-23) that Gods Sons and Daughters would become “One” in the same way that Jesus and the Father are One. Suddenly it began to make sense to me. The authority, provision, the promises, the Life, the power, everything, is all wrapped up in this profound relationship that Jesus was pressing me to enter into.
     It is the simplicity of the entire gospel! Love! Love Father God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength! This is my highest calling! It is the only command! Everything else that comes in life must spin off of that deep, deep love! Jesus demonstrated it. Now he has called me to also live in it and demonstrate it.
     I felt so helpless as this new phase of the vision played out. “God help me!” I begged. “I cannot be this kind of Son that you desire. It’s impossible! I know I cannot be this kind of Son!” I felt so totally helpless and unworthy of the robe and ring.
     Ha! Father God just smiled and said, “I know! You don’t think I know and understand these things?” Then he motioned with his head and the Holy Spirit immediately came up beside me.
God said, “Of course you cannot be a worthy Son in your own strength. I understand. But don’t worry. The Holy Spirit is going to be with you to help you grow into Son-ship! That is what His mission is! Your job is to just keep you eyes on Jesus (who is perfected in Son-ship) and as you see Jesus living it out, the Holy Spirit will help you to follow in Jesus example. But understand that you will always be given the option of choosing how much you want to grow in Son-ship. And understand too, that it comes at a great price.”
     Wow! I don’t have to work this out on my own? I don’t have to understand it? I just need to choose to embrace it!
     “Father God, give me a heart that desires to be a real Son, worthy of the honor you’ve poured out on me. Father God, help me to want to have the heart to be ‘one’ with you”.
     As I stood in Gods Presence, he said that he wanted to meet my family! So one by one I introduced each of my children; Lee, Jonnie, Ellie, and my wife, Daisy. We all stood there together and Father God just gazed on us with a smile….
     Then the atmosphere began to change and move around. I didn’t know what was happening. It was like we were all together in the middle of what was developing into a fluttering white whirlwind! As God embraced us as a family I began to discern that the whirling white mass was actually angels! Hundreds, perhaps thousands of them, fluttering and swirling around us faster and faster. Protecting, empowering! Approving, confirming! Binding us together.
     I understood that God was pouring out his blessing on our entire family. He was highlighting our family in front of all of heaven and calling on heavens host to bring us together into his purposes as His Sons and Daughters!
     I basked in His embrace with my family and the hosts of heaven until the vision finally faded away.
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A few days later…

     Once again I was awaken in the early morning and called to go to the ‘closet’. Soon I entered the vision and I saw Jesus going around searching for something or someone in similar manner as when He had been searching and discovered me among the briars. I could see that He had in his hand some kind of flyers! I couldn’t see what they were at first and so redirected my attention towards Father God. I saw that He was sitting on a throne. Nearby was a table and on it were multiple huge stacks of similar flyers.
     Curious, I approached His throne. Tears were running down his cheeks! I could see that he was in deep pain and I was alarmed. His heart seemed to be at breaking a point. I couldn’t imagine what the problem was, but obviously there was something going on that I didn’t understand.
     I ask Father God what was on the flyer. He picked up one from the nearest stack and held it up for me to see. It was a “Missing Child” flyer which had a photo and description of when and where the child had been last seen. He picked up another flyer and it was the same as the first except it had the photo and description of a different child. There were thousands, perhaps millions of fliers of different missing children.
     Then He reached over to where there were separate stacks of flyers. Again, there were perhaps millions in these stacks. He picked up the one at the top of the nearest pile and with a teary smile held it up for me to see.
     It was another “Missing Child” flyer - with my photo on it! Written across the front of the flyer in large bold letters was the word “found”!
     I was shocked and disappointed! Why was my face on one of those flyers? I thought I had always been “OK” with God. I knew that I was His child. I’ve known that since the time I gave my heart to Him years ago. Why had my face been on the missing child list?
     It came to me in a thundering flash of understanding….
     These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation.
I know your deeds, that you were neither cold nor hot, I wish you were either one or the other!
So, because you are lukewarm – neither hot nor cold – I am about to spew you out of my mouth.
You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. Revelation 3:14-17
     Yes, as much as I didn’t want to admit it, this was a description of my condition when Jesus had found me. I was the one who thought I had it ‘together’ spiritually. I had pretty much convinced everyone, including myself, that I was spiritually on fire; that I was rich with Gods blessings and all my needs were taken care of.
     I now realize the simple truth; that it doesn’t mean a thing about what other people think about me. It doesn’t even matter what I think about myself! The fact remains; my face had been on that flyer.
     I was one of those missing children! Saved? Yes! Going to heaven? Yes! But like the story of the Prodigal Son, I had been far from my Fathers home where he patiently waited for his ‘lost son’ to finally run out of his own resources and strength, come to the end of his pride and self deception and return home.
     Of course I had felt this strange hint in my gut that something wasn’t quite right for a long, long time. But religious pride has a powerful way of over-riding those gut feelings.
     I know now that if I had been even half-way listening, I would have heard the Father calling my name as he wept for his lost son. Yes – he knew exactly where I was. He knew I was naked and tangled up in a nasty brier patch. But He required that the Missing Children (who initially have simply wandered away from Him because they only pretend to love him) must be the ones who make the first effort to come back to His home.
     I remembered the scene of myself so hopelessly tangled in the briars. I had heard God calling my name. It had been such a heart broken cry that he called my name with. I had cringed with guilt and shame, embarrassed that I had somehow gotten into such a stupid predicament and was so helpless (as a Son of God) to undo that mess. I had been in denial of the truth and refused to see my condition for what it really was.
     It wasn’t until Jesus had come by, searching me out – just one out of a multitude of lost children, that I acknowledged my mess and my need for deliverance from the bondage that held me. I remembered the rest of that scripture in Revelation "…I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see." Revelation 3:18
     The price tag was very easy to pay; I just had to acknowledge the truth! That is what Father God requires! Truth! That we see ourselves the way He sees us, not the way we want him to see us.
When I realized that I needed to get back to Father God and what it was that was keeping us apart, Jesus and the Holy Spirit rushed to my rescue!
     Jesus covered me and set me free – not so that I could run back to the parties of life (running from one superficial spiritual high to the next) but to come and present myself to Father God exactly as I was, come what may.
     And what came was His overpowering love for me! Astonishing love! How can I describe it!
My heart broke over Father God’s broken heart! His tears became my tears. Tears for ‘Missing Children. Children already purchased with the blood of Jesus Christ. Children who have wandered off from Fathers loving care, enticed way by their own curiosity, their desire to ‘do it all by myself’, to prove their own self-worth, children kidnapped because they or their parents carelessly failed to lock the door from the evil ones who are sent to destroy Gods family, Gods own children who’ve gone ‘missing in action’. So many!
     I looked at Jesus who was so busy going around with the flyers trying to match faces of those others who where still caught in the briers. Going from one to the next to the next. The job seemed almost hopeless because of the huge pile of flyers that still remained on the table.
     My heart went out to Jesus and Father God. I was embarrassed because I was just standing there observing them in their desperate endeavor.
     Then I was struck with a thought and I asked God if I could help. Both Jesus and Father God’s faces lit up! “Please!” they both responded in unison.
     “I don’t know how to do this though,” I said. God just nodded to the Holy Spirit and He immediately stepped up beside me. “I’ll be right here,” he reassured me.
     Then the thought hit me; shouldn’t we be searching for lost people who have never received the gift of salvation? But the people that I was being directed to were not ‘lost’ sinners. These were already purchased and ‘saved’. Yet clearly, they were not living in the Son-ship that Jesus had intended them to live in. They were living way below their worth. And because of their misguided understanding of who they are in Jesus Christ, they have fallen victim to all sorts of events, powers, indoctrination's and blatant deception that has left them naked, wretched, and blind, tangled up in all sorts of bondage's, that they refuse to acknowledge. And thus they remain far from Father Gods loving heart, naive, and living a pretense of relationship.
     This is the mission field! This is my mission; it is how I will demonstrate Gods love to Him and to those He weeps for; to help Jesus call his Fathers children into Son-ship and Daughter-ship, to bring them back into his loving arms and into a right understanding of who we are in Father God through Christ Jesus as rightful heirs of every promise and good thing that comes from Him.
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A few more days later…

     I was awakened again in the early morning. Instinctively I began to crawl out of bed. “Stay there, you don’t need to get up this time”, God said! “I just want to show you my treasury!”
     What! Am I dreaming?
     I found myself standing on the edge of a beautiful land. Green hills rolled off into the distance. Clusters of trees were scatters across the landscape. Then as Father God stood at my side the landscape seemed to open into another dimension. The green hills were transformed into golden hills. Hills of gold! Rolling hills of gold that went on as far as the eye could see!
     I gasped in disbelief! God just chuckled and said, “Actually this is only a small part of it. We are unable to contain it all here so I decided to just let the people on earth manage it for me.”
     Then God actually giggled! He seemed so pleased with his sneaky plan! He said, “They don’t even know that all that wealth that they are trying so hard to mange actually belongs to Me! It’s our overflow! All the wealth on the earth is being cared for Me by people who are giving their very lives for it, thinking that it actually belongs to themselves!”
     Then God just smiled at me as I instinctively understood that I never, ever, ever have anything to worry about – except for one thing – that is, to remain in His love.
     I told myself this: “Whatever you do from this time forward, don’t ever get yourself in a situation where you are outside of Father Gods embrace and awareness of who you are as His Son. If that ever happens again – regardless of how justifiable you think your excuses are – you are in very grievous danger!”
     "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life!" Proverbs 4:23
     Later that morning during my ‘quiet time’, I casually turned to the book of Ecclesiastes. I had no good reason to turn there, but did so anyway. My eyes were drawn to this verse: "To the man who pleases Him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God." Ecclesiastes 2:26
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Wednesday, November 4
5:30am;

     From a deep sleep I suddenly awoke. “Get up!” God said.
     “No, Please, No. The house is cold”, I argued. Without further discussion, Gods Presence began to move away.
     “Wait, wait! I’m coming!” I really didn’t want to get out of bed, but I also really didn’t want to miss being in Gods Presence or anything else He might have for me. I grabbed a spare blanket, wrapped up in it and went into the guest room closet, closing it tightly behind me. I knelt there and waited…..
     As I waited, my mind began to wander and soon drifted towards a familiar place. I found myself going over the same request list that I’ve been waving in front of God frequently and for a long, long time – without results too, I might add.
     I realized that I was actually grumbling at Him – disappointed and even a bit mad. Why do I work so hard serving Him and yet struggle so much because of lack of personal finances? There are bills piling up and no foreseeable income coming in to deal with them all. Plus, I went over again the list of physical discomforts that I’ve been gripping about for some time.
     “Hey, God! You’ve put this ring on my finger! I’m trying to behave as a true Son by using the authority you’ve given me to deal with these ‘nagging’ issues in my life. Why aren’t things happening? Where are the miracles? Where are the Signs and Wonders? Why aren’t my problems getting resolved?”
     “Is that all I am to you?” He replied. “What if your own friends related to you like this – using you as a means to a selfish end? Likewise, what incentive would they be offering you, to cause you to want to be near and intimate with them, if they just handed you stuff whenever you yelled? Don’t you think I have feelings too?”
     “Forget about your bills and the limited funds in your checking and savings account! Do you really think I am so ignorant about your needs? Do you really thing I don’t know about your physical imperfections? Do you really think I need to be reminded so many times about your problems?”
     “Son! Remember, I’m the one who knows how many hairs are on your head. And for that matter, I also know how many hairs have fallen out! I know every bird and I have planned where each one will get its next meal! I plan for every flower; when it will bloom and when it’s time comes to wither away!”
     “You know all this – yet you doubt that I really care about your concerns! I’m insulted! Of course I know what your needs are. Do you know what my needs are? Do you even care to know?”
     “Stand up! I’m tired of seeing you always kneeling and on you face before me. Look me in the eyes! You are my Son! I love you! I’m pleased with you! Now get that through your head and understand that when I say that, I mean it! You are privileged! You don’t have to be a beggar any more!”
     “What I want is intimacy with you – like a Father and Son were designed to be. Just stand with me, identify with me. Let the world see you and me together – with your head held up high and confident in my goodness and kindness. Let them see that I am a good Father to his children. Trust me, I rank you right along side of Jesus himself and I want you to understand that fact. Get a hold on it and then live it boldly! Can you do that for me?” Father God asked.
     I stood there in that dark closet, wrapped up in the blanket and knew that a battle line had been drawn. On one side of the line was everything about myself that I had grown up believing to be true – that I was a dirty sinner, positioned at quite a distance from Almighty God - operating out of undeserved grace to do ministry. The only saving merit from God’s righteous judgment was the blood of Jesus Christ. As long as I live under the blood of Jesus, Father God will never really discover who I am. The problem is, I had been totally exposed to God inspection; tangled and immobilized by the briers, embarrassed into total isolation from God by the fact by my nakedness.
     The other side of the line is this: to acknowledge everything God says about me, regardless of how wrong it feels. In doing that, I am committed to a relationship that will require transformation from a ‘missing child (by choice)’ to a real Child of God, not as some religious fantasy, but in reality by faith.
     I made my choice as I stood there in the dark closet.
     “I am a Son of the Most High God!’ I declared. “The Creator of the Universe is my Father! He loves me! He really does love me! He honors me! He is proud of me! Though my mind cannot get around this fact, I will, by faith, accept your love, the honor that you are extending me, the rights and privileges of Son-ship, and the obligations that are required of Sons of God. Father God, I receive and declare my identity as you have declared it. I am – literally - a Son of the Most High; God!”
     I shivered as the realization of what I had just declared shifted through my being.
     “Yes, forget about the finances and health issues. They are non-issues when you are a Son of God! Father God! I want to know you! I want to know how to love you more and more! I embrace you – Father! Dad! Daddy!”
     I sensed Father God’s satisfaction, his embrace. Then it became more then just a ‘sense’. I felt a kind of Peace flowing over me that defies logic. Indeed it is a “Peace that passes understanding”.
Then in the vision I could hear some sort of music in the distance. I strained to hear it more clearly. Father God seemed to go to a window and opened it (or at least he went through the motion of opening a window). As soon as the window opened I could hear the singing clearly. Outside the window there were masses of angels singing!

“All blessing and honor and glory and strength to the Sons of the Most High God!

Worthy, you are worthy to wear the ring of a Son of God!”

     At first I was mesmerized by the beauty of the song. Then I began to hear what they were actually singing. They were singing the song to me!
     “NO WAY!” I wanted to scream! Every religious argument raced to justify my judgment against the praises that the angels were singing about Gods children. “It’s not about me! It’s all about Jesus and the price he paid for me with his blood! It’s all about God and his glory and majesty”.
     Father God just smiled and turned up the volume (he went through the motions of tuning up a volume knob). The singing seemed to permeate through my rebelling mind and body and into my very spirit.
     Then, as the praises being sung by the angels reached my spirit, I felt a great power. It was like a power that is great enough to actually transform me from what I am by faith into a new reality. It is a transforming power! It was the Word of Father God himself being poured out into my spirit through the songs of those angels and that Word was and is creative, transforming. God was really creating in me a new heart and mind!
     I could physically feel it!
     As I submitted to his declaration of who he says I am, those words are actually beginning to make me into the reality of the person that he has been saying I am. A Son, a man to reckoned with! A man with honor, authority and purpose, secure in the knowledge of who he is in Father God through the Blood of Christ Jesus. Not a son living in disgrace, in bondage born out of deception and misrepresentation from those who claim to ‘know’ Him.
     But how can all this be? Every religious fiber in me still wanted to rebel against the song of the angels. I needed to see some sort of confirmation straight out of the Bible before I could totally give myself over to what God seemed to be intending to do in me.
     Thank God! He understood my fears and immediately this scripture burst into my mind:
Now the Spirit testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.
     "Now if we are children, then we are heirs – heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ,
if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory." Romans 8:17
    “If you are a co-heir with Christ (co-heirs now, not ‘will be’ co-heirs with Christ), then the praises he receives will also apply to you”, God said.
     That was simple enough. I let all the walls down. I simple stood their, basking in the singing of the angels, receiving into my spirit their transforming message of my true identity.

“All blessing and honor and glory and strength to the Sons of the Most High God!

Worthy, you are worthy to wear the ring of a Son of God!”

     I am a Son of God! I have been bought with great price by Jesus Christ my Brother. My purpose; to know my Father God and be known by Him, to love Him and be loved by Him completely, to represent Him and our loving and intimate relationship to the world in a way that is honorable, accurate, and in surrender to His purposes. And finally, join him in the search for his ‘lost children’.
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Thursday, November 5, 2009

     As I was driving into town for an early morning dental appointment, I began rehearsing in my mind the things that God has been showing and doing in my life. As soon as I remembered the ‘song of the angels’, my mind screamed, “HERESY! NO! THIS CANNOT BE! I CANNOT AND WILL NOT RECEIVE THIS. FATHER GOD AND LORD JESUS ALONE ARE WORTHY OF PRAISE!”
     I really felt afraid that I was traveling into very dangerous territory and that Satan had found a way to trap me and bring me back under his control. “God, help me! Show me the truth. Don’t allow your son to be so quickly deceived – if this is indeed a deception according to what my mind is interpreting it to be…”
     It has been a very great conflict between heart and mind! Even as I write this, the conflict rages on. My heart embraces the angelic message – my mind screams “Heresy!”
     As I drove on to town I recalled these verses – some of the last words and probably some of the most important words expressed by Jesus regarding his brothers and sisters – and me personally…
“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those (me) who will believe in me through their message, that all of them (including you) may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May (you) they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them (me) the glory that you gave me, that they (me) may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they (you) be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." John 17:20-23
     The picture that came to me is that Jesus wants me to be received by Father God at the same level as Father God receives Jesus. The only way that I can become one with Father God and with Lord Jesus, is that I must be as Jesus in every aspect and thus become worthy of all that he is and receives from His Father – who is my Father too.
     Can I receive this honor? My mind firmly declared, NO! You are UNWORTHY! But deep in my spirit I find that there is a Voice that whispers – YES you are worthy! My blood purchased your worthiness! Receive it! Receive it all!
     “I invested so much for you when I left my Fathers side to search you out. You really have no idea of what I actually purchased for you when I gave my life for you on the cross. I want you to receive it all! I would be so honored if you would receive everything I have for you. Don’t let your religious mindset tie up your heart again from receiving everything I have for you (Jesus gifts are very different from the gifts of the Holy Spirit).
     I know that I don’t want to hold back on anything Jesus has for me. I feel incapable though of any ability in my own strength to receive what He offers. “God help your Son to be all that you designed him to be. Help me to not limit or reject anything that Jesus purchased at such a high price. Where you are taking me is way beyond any place that my mind is capable of understanding. But I know your love for me is huge and in that, I trust you completely. Bring it on…100%! …and if you say it’s OK for the angels to sing praises to your Sons – then let them sing. And whatever praises are poured out on me, I will then gladly sing them back to You! So I thank you for the praise and honor, and I give it back to you – for without you and your great love, I am nothing more then a beat up, shame filled, naked man forever hopelessly tangled in a briar patch of ‘self rejection’!”

“All blessing, honor, glory and strength to my Loving Father, the Most High God!

Worthy, you are worthy of the name of Most High; Loving Father God!

All blessing, honor, glory and strength to Lord Jesus Christ, my amazing Brother;

Son of the Most High God!

Worthy, you are worthy of the name of Most High God; Loving Lord Jesus Christ!”

     Later that same evening I returned to the church for their evening worship service. Once again I was confronted with the conflict of mind over spirit. Fear pressed in. Fear of being deceived. Fear of receiving praise and worship …fear of falling into the same sin that Satan fell into … pride that is birthed out of horded praise.
     At the end of the service I shared a bit of what is happening to me with a couple of friends. They encouraged me greatly and prayed with me. It was a relief to just tell someone else about the conflict of my mind and spirit. It seems to be too much for one person to carry alone – and if I did try to do it alone, I believe that it would set the stage for the exact temptations that I am foreseeing and desiring to avoid.
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     I remembered back to several months ago when Pastor Mike was preaching about what real revival means. At that time I understood that the heart of God was for people who would allow themselves to actually be restored to the pre-sin state of being that Adam and Eve had shared with God. Though I couldn’t understand how this would be possible, I asked Mike to pray with me that I would be so yielding in my heart to God that I might know that kind of relationship that Adam knew when he and God fellow-shipped on their evening strolls through the Garden of Eden.
     Amazingly, I now know that this is indeed possible – in the spirit – by the Spirit, and even with overflows into the physical world. So, may this be my joy, my life, my love, more and more and more!
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     I know that I have just touched the tip of the iceberg in my understanding of who I am in God. There is so much more! I haven’t even begun to know the Lord Jesus or the Holy Spirit outside of the religious confinements of traditional understanding.
     “God, blow up those boxes of wrong and limited understanding about who you are. Help me to ‘unlearn’ what has been erroneous. God, I don’t want to just know about you. I want to know you – heart to heart! I want to really know you! I want to know you Father God! I want to really know you, my brother Lord Jesus Christ! I must know you Holy Spirit!
     And please, I must also continue to grow in knowing who I am!”
     Thank you!

Visions of Son-ship:
A view from Father God’s perspective

Part 2

Thursday, March 4, 2010; at Church

      It was during the hour of worship that I found myself once again in a vision where I stood in the presence of my Father, God. It seemed that I hadn't seen him for a while. I was so glad to have finally caught up with him. He had told me in an earlier vision that he would be moving on and had warned me about lagging behind.
     Well, I did lag! Now he had obviously been waiting for me to catch up with him. For that I was grateful. It reminded me of how my own children would be so easily distracted from following me at the time when I, as their father, needed to get to some destination and became frustrated at the children's lack of concern for my own agenda.
     Where had I been? I don't even know for sure. But when I looked down at the beautiful robe that I was always careful to wear in his presence, I regretfully saw that there were a lot of dirty spots on it. Embarrassed, I immediately apologized.
     We sat down side-by-side, the Father God and his be-smudged son. “I'm sorry that I've made a mess of things”, I said not even really understanding how I had gotten into this condition. I expected him to scold me and I braced myself for it. I knew I deserved a rebuke, though I didn't know what the reason was. I felt helpless, wishing for mercy and understanding which I doubted would be forthcoming.
     But Father didn't even seem to notice the dirty spots, or at least if he did, it didn't really seem to bother him. He simple looked over to Jesus (whom I hadn't notice up until to this point) and gave a little nod of his head. In a second, Jesus was in front of me. In another second my robe was miraculously clean again. The creases were sharp. The decorative gems sparkled. It even smelled fresh!
     “Let me tell you something”, God said as we stood. He turned and placed his hands on my shoulders and looked me straight in the eyes. “It's not about the dirty clothing that bothers me. I expect your clothing to get dirty. You are living on planet earth and it is very dirty down there. The thing that so often troubles and grieves me is when people think that it is all about the dirt on their clothing; that I care more about their appearance then about their presence. Know this son; I don't care how dirty you get! Just come to me. Don't hide from me, please!”
     “I'm OK with dirty clothes. I'm OK with dirty hearts! What I'm not OK with is when people avoid me and misunderstand my very nature which is love. Love which overlooks outward appearances. Perfect Love. Complete Love. That is who I am! I am everything the human heart is longing for. Love is my Glory!”
     A verse rushed into my mind... "Then Moses said, 'show me your glory. And the Lord said, “I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the Lord, in your presence, and I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion”. Exodus 33:18-19
     I stood before my Father, silent. I could see the pain in his eyes; the rejection that he has endured because so many of his children have been deceived into believing that God demands perfection as a condition to receive his acceptance and love.
     What could be farther from the truth!
     I understood that I too, had contributed to my Fathers pain by holding back from exposing certain areas of my life. But now I understand that there is no cause for fear in being totally transparent before him. There is something that is to be feared though; the fear of not being totally transparent with him!
     There is no need to cover up shameful nakedness! What Jesus had done in covering me up with his bloodstained robe earlier was just to get me to this point of where I could understand the real character of my amazing Father. He really understands …everything! He only requires that we don't cover up or hide from him.
     As both Father and Jesus stepped back to admire me, the Holy Spirit also stepped into the scene to join them. I could sense their satisfaction and even pride as they just stood there looking at me. I felt rather self-conscious, not know what they were thinking or what their intentions were. It was as if they had some ongoing agenda for me which up to now had been kept secret from me.
     Whatever it was (is) though, I knew I wanted to be a part of it, to surrender to it completely.
     Then the Three surrounded me. “What is going on”, I wondered as they pressed in closer. Then together they embraced me! It was a group hug on me! I felt awkward and undeserving. I tried to get my mind off of myself and just receive their embrace. But it just felt ...weird. I knew that what was happening though was that another broken area of my life was being targeted for their attention and healing.
     “Let it come. I don’t care”. I was learning that whatever discomfort or awkwardness I experienced was because I was the one with the problem. Just let them do with me what they want. I have learned that submission, no matter how uncomfortable, will ultimately lead to new levels of healing, freedom and joy ...if I just don’t resist.
     “From the time Adam sinned and destroyed the friendship we shared, we have been planning, scheming, and focusing all our efforts on 'this',” God said, indicating the embrace they held me in.
“You what”, I replied, dumbfounded! “This…”, I questioned, as if I had thought there ought to be something more significant and noble than the embrace we were in.
     “You have no idea what this is actually all about,” God said. “We've been laboring for this for so long and, believe it or not, we would have done it even if it was just for you alone.”
     What? What is so significant and valuable about a relationship with me? Why have they gone to such lengths to bring me into this. This is way beyond anything that I can comprehend. Yeah, I know relationships are important, but …this?
     Whatever it is all about, I felt so grateful to be the one in the center of their attention. As I gradually relaxed, I found myself basking in the warmth of their embrace. I soaked in their love. Nothing can harm me here. Not even my own sinfulness.
     After the worship service finally ended, I was left pondering what this was all about and where it was leading me to.
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Sunday; March 7, 2010 at my home church

     During the worship time the vision enveloped me again as it had the previous Thursday evening at the church I had been visiting. It picked up at the same place where it had ended, in an embrace, a group hug, with the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit; myself in the middle.
     After a time we stepped back about one step from each other. The Father gave a slight nod of his head, something I was beginning to become familiar with which I knew would invoke a quick response of some sort. The Holy Spirit who was clothed in a beautiful white robe and who seemed to radiate light, almost fluorescent in nature, acknowledged Gods unspoken request and immediately began some sort of transformation.
     He seemed to become semi-transparent! Then in one quick flowing motion he merged with Jesus who was standing next to him, the two becoming one!
     Then Jesus, who was dressed in a more rugged sort of common street clothing, not nearly as nice as the freshly cleaned robe that I wore, also became semi-transparent and in a similar quick motion, merged into the Father! Now the Three had become One!
      I was mesmerized by what I had just seen take place! Why? What was the meaning of this demonstration?
     I know that the Father spoke a few things to me which, regretfully, I can't remember. But what I do remember is that when he spoke I could actually hear all three voices speaking the same words at the same time through his mouth!
     I stood immobilized in amazement and in worship of this indescribable Being that stood before me and the wonderful new level of revelation of Who or What, He or They are!
     Though I had often heard such things taught about the Trinity, seeing it demonstrated in front of me before my very eyes gave such new depths of understanding and appreciation. What unity, what trust, and what love they had for each other! Such power that radiated from Father! My Father!
     I worshiped Him in frozen silence!
     After a seemingly short time (I don't know how long though in the time of spans of eternity) as I remained in the vision, the Three separated again with a shimmer and I found myself once again standing in the presence of the Father, Jesus, and the Spirit. They just stood there in front of me smiling!
     I wondered what would happen next. Then as if on cue the Spirit once again took on a shimmering semi-transparent appearance, stepped towards me …then into me!
     It happened so fast that when it happened I nearly fell over backwards!
     It was the shock of the unexpected action of the Spirit as well as the shock of instantly understanding the intentions of what these Three have been scheming since the fall of Adam! In a flash I understood that they have been planning and maneuvering people and the events of history for the purpose of drawing me into their 'inner circle'! Me!
     Though I understand that there are millions of others around the world and throughout history that are also being drawn into this Circle, for each person it is as if they are the only one out of all humanity that this love is being focused on. This kind of love is overwhelming! It is indescribable!
Father, God! Thank You! Thank you! Thank you!
     I didn't really feel anything when the Spirit merged into me. What struck such a powerful blow was the revelation of the extent of Fathers love for me. Above and beyond anything I have ever imagined. Far above what Jesus did on the cross which was just the beginning of Gods revelation to humanity of the depths of His love.
     What this merging of the Spirit within me was about is that he enabled me to both comprehend and receive this incredible love Father has for me. The awkwardness of that earlier embrace now seemed so distant. There is no reason for shame in this kind of love. It is power! It is life! I know now that I can never live without it and wonder how I ever did prior to this experience.
     Without the Spirits help, I doubt that I could have physically received or appreciated the Fathers love. This love is far beyond the 'astonishing love' expression that I had felt when Jesus had covered me with his blood stained robe. It is a different kind of love from what I had felt when Jesus stood naked in my place as he presented me before the Father right after I had been rescued from that helpless and hopeless entanglement in the briar patch of ‘self-rejection’.
     What was being demonstrated was that they were choosing to not just see me as their equal. More than that, they are intent to make me to be their equal!
     “My God! Where is this thing going?”
     I continued to stand in that time of worship ...barely, staggering and struggling to remain on my feet!
     As God opened my understanding to a whole new depth of his love and purposes, I became aware that the Holy Spirit had reappeared outside my body. He grinned at me as though he had been having the time of his life. He had enjoyed being 'in' me!
     “This is how it will be”, Father explained. “When the times are right or whenever you request it, the Spirit will merge into you. You don't need to look for a feeling to know his presence, but sometimes you really will feel him. Just know that he really does enjoy being in you in the same way we, Myself, Jesus and the Spirit enjoy our unity. In time and as we enable you to receive it, we intend to draw you in the fullness of our unity and love.”
     As the worship time came to an end, I was reminded of something that I had read earlier in the week from Luke. “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will over-shadow you.”  Luke 1:35
     And so I respond in the same way that Mary responded... “I am the Lords servant. May it be to me as you have said.” Luke 1:38
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     The things you have just read may seem pretty weird! You may think that this writer has gone ‘off the deep end’, had a nervous breakdown, or mid-life crisis. Or, just perhaps, he really did have a series of visions, revelations of something ‘heavenly’ and beyond rationality.
     Well, regardless, whatever it was, or should I say ‘is’, he was greatly encouraged by it! If this is a nervous breakdown or midlife crisis, he likes it! In fact he longs for more of God’s Presence in whatever manner He chooses to reveal Himself!
     What was seen in the Spirit realm remains there. But the perspective and lessons learned have had a profound effect in how this writer lives out his life day by day. He has had a transformation of perspectives on who he is and of his relationship with his Father-God and his purpose for living on earth.
     Can he live out that visionary relationship in reality? The answer would have to be ‘no’. But because of the visions, he has a destiny that he is reaching for. It is a destiny that can only be approached by faith, transparency, and the power of the Holy Spirit.
     To this end he is pressing: To be a son of Father-God. Not to just know information about Him. But to be all He designed him to be – as a son, and brother of Jesus Christ. To be this as much as is possible, with whatever faith God provides and through the help and power of the Holy Spirit.
     If you meet him on the street or in a church today, you will not see him as the person described in the story. Sorry about that! Because, you see, he still lives on plant Earth! But if you could see him as God sees him today, I truly believe that what was played out in the visions is in reality the person he really is! And that is all because of what Jesus purchased at the price of his own life and the counsel and power of the Holy Spirit, to whom I am so profoundly and eternally grateful!
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